tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56152342011-07-14T14:26:20.781-07:00Stupid FreshThe wild and lunatic rantings of Shanna & Shannan (The Pixie-Nymph Gimp and The Queen of Darkness)...Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comBlogger471100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1106623870435718792005-01-24T19:23:00.000-08:002005-01-24T19:31:10.440-08:00So after having been absent for more than a year, I figured I'd stop by this bitchin' blog and update. Here's the latest on my life...don't expect to be moved....
Everything fucking sucks. Oh, you want details. Here goes:
As of this Friday, I'm a jobless bastard. Yes, that's right. Unemployed again. Could I be more disgusting and pathetic? Perhaps, if I had a fucking hump back and a nameWickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1067489054870793382003-10-29T20:44:00.000-08:002003-10-29T20:44:10.126-08:00Thanks for the congrats, m'lady. I do hope the Impaler and I are able to conquer eternity together. The rock is quite gorgeous. It's a Luxia cut and catches light beautifully. For those of you who are envious, you may purchase a similar ring at QVC.com. Thank you for your interest, have a nice evening.Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1067265056486483732003-10-27T06:30:00.000-08:002003-10-30T06:58:28.026-08:00Whoa! A BIG FAT HUGE shout out of CONGRATULATIONS to the Wicked one on her recent engagement!!!!!!
May she and the Impaler have many happy years together.Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1065561188125210062003-10-07T14:13:00.000-07:002003-10-07T14:21:35.756-07:00Supa freak - that's so cool you got a job at Frederick's O' Hollywood...you rawck!
The Worm and I are ordering our Renaissance costumes tonight for the festival in Houston (which we're attending the first weekend of November to celebrate the greatest day of all - my birthday). Our costumes are as follows (laugh and die~!):
Ye Funk of Olden Tymes (imagine it with much more cleavage - I refused Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1065468167858161202003-10-06T12:22:00.000-07:002003-10-06T12:22:47.743-07:00It's odd. I was cursed indefinitely with absolute employment stagnance...then lo and behold...two mall stores called me in one day for jobs! lane bryant and frederick's of hollywood. yeehaw.
all hallow's eve...the usual: mom taking the offspring trick-or-treating. i'm so proud - the child will be dressed as Regan from The Exorcist.
Wrecked car? Do tell! I'm signing off right now so I Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1065189182973648042003-10-03T06:53:00.000-07:002003-10-03T06:54:48.440-07:00School and two jobs??! When did this sudden burst of good fortune fall upon your ass, Wicked??!
I've been neglecting Stupid Fresh as well. Therapy complications, a sick kitty and a wrecked car have contributed to the disregard of our beloved blog.
So, my Wicked counterpart, what are you going to be for All Hallow's Eve??Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1065054919157314332003-10-01T17:35:00.000-07:002003-10-01T17:35:18.810-07:00Hi. I'm posting. It's been way too long. I'm sorry. I've been neglecting Stupid Fresh. ::sigh:: I have a good excuse, though. School AND 2 jobs!! Woot.Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1063741833578989252003-09-16T12:50:00.000-07:002003-09-16T12:50:33.113-07:00Life Fucking Sucks Because... (continued from Funk)
...stretch marks don't tan, thus creating a zebra-like appearance on my lower body.
...i have a handful of friends and they're not here in fucking KENNER, la.
...my boyfriend speaks before he thinks, and quite frankly, sometimes he shouldn't even think.
...my boyfriend is still married to an old cunt whose name is too similar to mine for Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1063740922418670312003-09-16T12:35:00.000-07:002003-09-16T12:36:29.816-07:00Okay, finish this statement:
Life fucking sucks because...
...I can't be the meat in an Angelina Jolie/Alyssa Milano sandwich.
...I feel as if I have to stop smoking - and I don't want to.
...they changed the packaging on Juicy Fruit gum. Wtf?
...WTF and OMFG are not yet included in the dictionary.
...eating Crayons will make you sick. (admit it - you've always wanted to eat one or two).
Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1063474503235740232003-09-13T10:35:00.000-07:002003-09-13T10:35:03.166-07:00That tract did not elicit from me a single smile, smirk, or laugh. I found it humorless and as dry as an overcooked Thanksgiving turkey. Reading through to the end was difficult - I felt as though I was trapped in an illiterate's illogical pseudo-literary labyrinth.
Bishop and Cathy... I raise a satirical 'brow to this segment of the tract and utter a disgusted 'ugh'.
This thing was vapid.Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1063396477436974722003-09-12T12:54:00.000-07:002003-09-12T12:58:51.880-07:00(Please read the post just before this one so you'll know what the hell I'm talking about - thanks)
Fresh Funk Review
Though hard to follow at times, I found this comic fairly amusing. It had only some of the hilarity of the common Trick Tract, along with the usual smattering of last minute decisions and an imminent death. However, something fell flat about midway into the story telling. It Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1063394321408309702003-09-12T12:18:00.000-07:002003-09-12T12:18:41.433-07:00It's been awhile. Apparently we've all been too busy to keep up with our awesome little blog here. I feel it is only appropriate then, to return with a surprise.
Welcome, friends, to Trick Tract Fridays!!
Wtf is a Trick Tract, you ask? Well, surely, you've been handed a freaky little christian booklet by some equally freaky christian at some point in your life? Chick Publications produces Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1061321270370970612003-08-19T12:27:00.000-07:002003-08-19T12:28:12.126-07:00It's a bit of a long read, but doesn't this remind you of some of our IM-conversations, Wicked?? Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1061293425698739112003-08-19T04:43:00.000-07:002003-08-19T04:43:45.620-07:00Indeed, they are, Wicked - very pleasing to the naked eye (heh). You should most definitely come this way...the Worm and I miss your wicked freshness and there's free porn to be watched by all.
Actually we have two stations at da' Funk's Reality TV windows - the comic relief is in the form of my pothead-turned-crackhead neighbor who lives across from me. His antics, including walking around Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1061264060503350032003-08-18T20:34:00.000-07:002003-08-18T20:34:20.500-07:00That's really awesome. Are these new neighbors aesthetically pleasing? When can I come over again? Yunno, I've been meaning to come into town....I really miss you guys!Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1061181952159283122003-08-17T21:45:00.000-07:002003-08-17T21:46:45.096-07:00NEW NEWS!!
I am extemely happy to report that I have new neighbors!!
Now this in itself does not appear to be cause for such cheer - but follow me here. My apartment is all windows, as are those directly across from me. I can see what they do, and they can see me. Serves my voyeuristic exhibitionist tendencies well.
This weekend, Worm and I were hanging out. Glancing over, I noticed the Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060909763418467342003-08-14T18:09:00.000-07:002003-08-14T18:13:51.956-07:00I was recently wondering the exact same thing. I was thinking, "What the fuck? WHY the fuck is no one posting here?!"
I am currently not angry about anything. Don't have any new gripes or bitches to spew forth. And I will say that this stems from my NOT HAVING ANY FORM OF A FUCKING LIFE AT ALL WHATSOEVER. No job, no money, no friends here, NOTHING. And I am terribly depressed. ::sigh::Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060891393026615262003-08-14T13:03:00.000-07:002003-08-14T13:07:44.220-07:00Are we all dead? Do none of us have anything vulgar or pissy to post? Where are my fellow fresh freaks?? Where am I?!Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060664252450897392003-08-11T21:57:00.000-07:002003-08-11T21:57:32.313-07:00It's been quite some time, Funk. Next time, though, could you sing it to me in a Rod Stewart voice? "....have I told you lately, that I love you?...." Yes, you have to wear leather pants and spike your hair.
And I positively adore you, my magnificent little masterpiece.Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060636890440748452003-08-11T14:21:00.000-07:002003-08-11T14:21:30.456-07:00Wicked - did I ever tell you that I loved you? Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060400973310676972003-08-08T20:49:00.000-07:002003-08-11T13:01:09.090-07:00IMPORTANT!!! IMPORTANT!!! IMPORTANT!!!
I AM ON A QUEST - SCATHING THE LAND, CYBER AND OTHERWISE, FOR "SPECIAL ANIMAL LOVE FILMS"! IF ANYONE OUT THERE CAN ASSIST ME IN MY DESPERATE SEARCH FOR SUCH MATERIAL, PLEASE CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY.
THANK YOU. GOD BLESS. ::giggle::Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060400595584289342003-08-08T20:43:00.000-07:002003-08-08T20:46:33.963-07:00I often wonder...if murder was legal, would I kill someone? Namely my worthless sister.
Ok...She backed out on me again. She's a fucking sell-out. She was supposed to come stay with me next Thurs. nite to keep the fruit of my loins for me on Friday while I go job hunting. Heh. She's a weakling cunt so she gets her fathead, pasty-assed, inconsistently-furred boyfriend to call me in her steadWickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060349003709212152003-08-08T06:23:00.000-07:002003-08-08T06:23:23.690-07:00A fucking mother-fucking state trooper was parked in the handicap spot today at work. The one closest to the door that I normally park in.
Now, I don't care that it was my normal spot - the one right next to it was still open. I was pissed because this fucking pig has the audacity to just park there - all crooked in the spot no less - regardless of the fact that it is ILLEGAL to do so!! Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060177515243629642003-08-06T06:45:00.000-07:002003-08-06T06:45:15.266-07:00So I get this stupid email at work today with a bunch of Boudreaux and Thibodeaux jokes such as:
Boudreaux died. So his wife,Tuseau, went to the local paper to put a
notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering
his condolences, asked Tusaeu what she would like to say about
Boudreaux, Tuseau replied, "You jis put 'Boudreaux died.' " The
gentleman, somewhat perplexed, Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060104123947182092003-08-05T10:22:00.000-07:002003-08-05T10:22:03.993-07:00It is true, Wicked, that in this barren, cold, hard little heart I do have a great deal of empathy, also. But it is usually buried under the piles and piles of crap and pieces of shit I must deal with on a daily basis. You can't be around humanity for a long time and not hate them. Ask anyone in customer service, who has to deal with complaints, or who has to fix things - I bet they all share Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060059741205267492003-08-04T22:02:00.000-07:002003-08-04T22:02:21.123-07:00First and foremost - Worm, you may drop to both knees and bite my ass. And with that said...
...I shall move on!
Funkmeister, I feel your pain. And quite honestly, Wormoid, the majority of fuckasses littering this planet don't deserve the benefit of the doubt. I mean, c'mon folks...the BLISSFULLY cross-eyed, catatonic stares and drool-soaked shirts tip me off every time. I know as soon as Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060023878742524012003-08-04T12:04:00.000-07:002003-08-04T12:04:38.780-07:00Stupid people exist. However, those of us cursed with knowledge have the duty of giving the benefit of the doubt before they prove that they are, indeed, truly stupid.
Thank you,
the bald one
p. s. Wicked, seek help.Wormhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089557566456866815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1060018263493157362003-08-04T10:31:00.000-07:002003-08-04T10:33:31.643-07:00It's hard not to hate people. I don't mean certain, specific people in your life - but just the seething mass of our collective population as a whole. It seems the vast majority of people are really fucking stupid or really fucking mean. Have you noticed that?
One of the good things that came out of the whole 9-11 fiasco was seeing so many people going out of their way to help others. Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059918755688839432003-08-03T06:52:00.000-07:002003-08-03T06:52:35.706-07:00Jesus fucking christ, you are a freak! Don't ever change...
Yeah, I dreamt once that I was the mother to a litter of kittens - though, thankfully, in my dream I got to skip the "mating" part. -shudder-
You really should start writing these dreams down. They might actually mean something - I've no earthly idea what - but you should stilll jot 'em in a journal.Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059852935609353142003-08-02T12:35:00.000-07:002003-08-02T12:35:35.543-07:00Great dream, funky fresh fly. I've had some odd ones here lately. I think I dream a bit more vividly and the content is definitely stranger when I drink. In excess. Heh.
Speaking of strange, I dreamt last nite that I ::hanging head in shame:: molested about...three male cats. I jerked them off. And I liked it. And, of course, so did they. I remember so clearly rubbing their furry Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059824834923356372003-08-02T04:47:00.000-07:002003-08-02T04:47:14.806-07:00I know it's hella early, but I just woke up from this great dream and had to share - you're gonna love this one, Wicked.
For some reason, we had to go to church. My entire family and a whole slew of my friends, including Wicked & Worm. We're sitting in the pew, not paying any attention to the service (why would we be?). We're giggling and cutting up - not enough to disrupt anything. SuddenlyShanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059656339572727482003-07-31T05:58:00.000-07:002003-07-31T06:04:48.653-07:00I haven't seen Meet the Parents yet but saw that particular part on the previews - looks pretty funny. Yes, Worm, pink is cool and, yes, you are high (perpetually).
As for Pat Robertson, Wicked, I think you're going a little to0 easy on him. There has to be some form of torture fitting for such a slimeball. But remember, no matter what you do to fucktard-Robertson, there has to be an even Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059621217080325862003-07-30T20:13:00.000-07:002003-07-30T20:13:37.143-07:00What, are you on glue or something? Yes, pink is cool.
What I find particularly amusing right now:
Meet The Parents. The part where they're at the dinner table...discussing the milking of cats.Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059621000047601392003-07-30T20:10:00.000-07:002003-07-30T20:10:00.110-07:00Is pink cool? I'm not sure. Am I high? Damn...Wormhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089557566456866815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059620627351151092003-07-30T20:03:00.000-07:002003-07-30T20:03:47.320-07:00What do you feel about Pat Robertson? I'd like a bit of variety in opinion.
I feel that he's a massive pig cock bastard and should be assraped with a fistful of razor blades.
It is people, and I use that term rather generously, like him who make this world morally defunct.
If I had a genie in a bottle and had three wishes, they would be: (1) for 150 million dollars, (2) to know if god Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059496408258850712003-07-29T09:33:00.000-07:002003-07-29T09:33:28.220-07:00With all this talk about "finding Saddam" - who is only running from the people that kicked him out of the dictatorship and killed his sons - is anyone still looking for Osama bin Laden???
Unless no one remembers, he is the one behind the 9-11 attacks. Not Saddam Hussein.
I don't care where Saddam is, find Osama!Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059444808452296202003-07-28T19:13:00.000-07:002003-07-28T19:19:20.310-07:00From the article Vatican Seeks to Stop OKs for Gay Unions:
"Legal acceptance is growing, however.
Over the past two years, the Netherlands and Belgium extended marriages rights to all couples, no matter the partners' gender.
Two Canadian provinces - Ontario and British Columbia - have legalized marriages for homosexuals under recent court rulings, a move that has attracted gays from across Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059436867508392952003-07-28T17:01:00.000-07:002003-07-28T17:01:07.426-07:00In reference to the "Oh God" post made by my Funky counterpart...
Personally, in my lair of sin, I call out the name of the Christian God because it feels blasphemous. When being fucked, porn-style, I get a warm, tingly feeling while taking the lord's name in vain.
That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059422557575582912003-07-28T13:02:00.000-07:002003-07-28T13:02:37.540-07:00Geez! You two need to just relax...take a pill. Me? I'm just chillin like a villain on the south side. Fa real, g. Peace, I'm out.
(please note: This an alternate personality and I am not actually a "wigger". Thank you)Wormhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03089557566456866815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059421191143819772003-07-28T12:39:00.000-07:002003-07-28T12:42:15.336-07:00The Worm and I were discussing sex and the phrases most often uttered during the act of coitus.
"Why," queried The Worm, "does everyone always scream 'oh god'?"
I told him it wasn't just an American thing, as I'd seen a French porn where the woman was moaning "Mon Dieu, mon dieu". It's international - it's world-wide.
I pondered on this for a moment and came up with this:
Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059418213512357182003-07-28T11:50:00.000-07:002003-07-28T11:50:13.436-07:00I fucking hate today. I hate Mondays - I hate my job - I hate people - I hate 1:45 - I hate my cube - I hate my office - I hate today - I hate my fucked up leg - I hate everything.
Fuck off.Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059242172582738962003-07-26T10:56:00.000-07:002003-07-26T10:59:23.163-07:00How I feel about camel jockeys...
It isn't good. Number one, who the fuck wears that hot, uncomfortable, ugly turban or bath towel on their head? Ohhhh, it's for RELIGIOUS purposes. Sweet ass. When you're dead and lying on the ground after having suffered a god damned heat stroke, I'LL PRAISE THE LORD FOR YOU.
And their language...the language sounds like a colony of animals trying to Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059239173534366832003-07-26T10:06:00.000-07:002003-07-26T10:06:13.550-07:00Jeez *slaps self on forehead*
When I created our URL it was supposed to be stpdfrsh.blogspot.com, but I accidentally left out the "r" (because I'm a crackhead-speed-typist) which made it
stpdfsh.blogspot.com
We're Stupid Fish rather than Stupid Fresh...lol
Actually, that's kinda fitting, tooShanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059229899285551172003-07-26T07:31:00.000-07:002003-07-26T07:31:39.250-07:00I just realized something...
Add the "N" for Neurotic to Shanna,
and you get Shannan
That explains everythingShanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059188727358453802003-07-25T20:05:00.000-07:002003-07-25T20:05:27.356-07:00Wicked & Funk's latest IM ho' down....
(at least...the interesting parts)
Wicked: my head is throbbing. and vlad just sits here...letting me suffer.
Wicked: what the hell kind of shit is this?
Funk: I want us to get t-shirts that read (i'm going to hell for this):
Funk: I FUCKED JESUS - AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID T-SHIRT
Funk: Doesn't he know sex and orgasm is the only thing that cures a Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059179900541797252003-07-25T17:38:00.000-07:002003-07-25T17:38:20.486-07:00Merry meet mindless minions... What? Not mindless - not our minion? Just wait.
This is FunkyFreshShanna - that's 'Funk' to you, ok? You can call me Shanna only if you pronounce it correctly; one strike and you're out.
Welcome to our little slice of hell on the 'net. You've already met my freak-in-crime, Ms. Wicked herself. Let me bore you a bit longer with some more useless info...this Shanna Rileynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5615234.post-1059170790617507642003-07-25T15:06:00.000-07:002003-07-25T18:17:37.066-07:00Allow me to introduce myself. I am Shannan. While...bloggering, I'll be known as WickedFreshShannan. Call me Wicked. Or Shannan. Just never Fresh.
Consider this area a fount of knowledge. When you're feeling like a mental midget, wander this way...as aimlessly as I know you will be...and take a gander (no, we're not offering male geese here). Once reading our factual, well-informed, Wickedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06146202204140618610noreply@blogger.com