It's a bit of a long read, but doesn't this remind you of some of our IM-conversations, Wicked??

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 12:27 PM # | | F.U.

Indeed, they are, Wicked - very pleasing to the naked eye (heh). You should most definitely come this way...the Worm and I miss your wicked freshness and there's free porn to be watched by all. Actually we have two stations at da' Funk's Reality TV windows - the comic relief is in the form of my pothead-turned-crackhead neighbor who lives across from me. His antics, including walking around the apartment in the Scream mask and flipping his lights on and off, are a laugh a minute. He also likes to blare his music at 3am, which isn't so funny. Nothing but sex, drugs and rock n' roll down in good 'ole Red Stick, amigo. Come on down, ya hear?

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 4:43 AM # | | F.U.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

NEW NEWS!! I am extemely happy to report that I have new neighbors!! Now this in itself does not appear to be cause for such cheer - but follow me here. My apartment is all windows, as are those directly across from me. I can see what they do, and they can see me. Serves my voyeuristic exhibitionist tendencies well. This weekend, Worm and I were hanging out. Glancing over, I noticed the new neighbors had put up a large mirror - allowing us an even better view of their bed. "I hope they fuck a lot," I said. Not ten minutes later we look over - and they're fucking! Woohoo!! Eureka. The mirror provided double exposure, and the view of her riding him while he played with her tits was a real-life porn fantasy come true. I couldn't be happier about my porn star neighbors. Worm and I have decided to call them Ron (aka - Jeremy) and Jenna (aka - Jameson). We're planning to give a thankyou performance soon. Tickets on sale at your nearest blogger.

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 9:45 PM # | | F.U.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Are we all dead? Do none of us have anything vulgar or pissy to post? Where are my fellow fresh freaks?? Where am I?!

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 1:03 PM # | | F.U.

Monday, August 11, 2003

Wicked - did I ever tell you that I loved you?

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 2:21 PM # | | F.U.

Friday, August 08, 2003

A fucking mother-fucking state trooper was parked in the handicap spot today at work. The one closest to the door that I normally park in. Now, I don't care that it was my normal spot - the one right next to it was still open. I was pissed because this fucking pig has the audacity to just park there - all crooked in the spot no less - regardless of the fact that it is ILLEGAL to do so!! Because he's a cop. Cops are not supposed to be above the law! Had anyone else parked in that spot with a handicap tag, they would've gotten a ticket. They're strict about that here - I've seen it happen. But this fucktard with a badge and a gun and an inflated ego can do it. Just like when they turn on their lights just to run a red light then turn them back off again. Fuckers. I should've written his license plate number down and complained - but I need a pissed off state trooper on my ass like I need a hole in my head. Are there cops out there that don't abuse the power given to them??!

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 6:23 AM # | | F.U.

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

So I get this stupid email at work today with a bunch of Boudreaux and Thibodeaux jokes such as: Boudreaux died. So his wife,Tuseau, went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Tusaeu what she would like to say about Boudreaux, Tuseau replied, "You jis put 'Boudreaux died.' " The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Boudreaux died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Boudreaux. If it's money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more." So Tuseau pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put ....    'Boudreaux died. Boat for sale' ". There were about 10 of these. Some were a bit humorous, some were just dumb. I really thought nothing of it - and went to hit the Delete key. Then I had a memory of an article I'd seen in the last week about a man in Arkansas getting fired for sending out a joke email to employees. It was said about the email: "The tone of the email was indefensible and depiction of racial stereotypes was not only wrong, but is patently false," Huckabee said. The man who "resigned" said he thought it humorous and sent it out - of course now, after losing his $75,000/year job he regrets it. The thing is, it was probably as humorous (or non-humorous as such things tend to be) and unpolitically correct as any joke email that gets cirrculated in offices about every race, religion and sexual preference in existence. The difference this time is that some over-sensitive jackass got offended and went crying to the higher ups. This person should be bitch-slapped then shot in the head. Sound harsh? Hardly when you look at the always growing number of ninny babies that sue everyone under the sun every time something offends their thin-skinned little egos. Suck it up, fuckwads. There's not a solitary doubt in my mind that the man had to resign because someone was threatening to sue if he wasn't gotten rid of. When did the poplulation as a whole become incapable of taking a fucking joke? Like when Ambercrombie & Fitch put out those cutesy little Asian-themed shirts and the slanty-eyes got all in a tizzy. I don't care what anybody says they were funny. A&F claimed they were "truly, deeply sorry" and honestly thought Asians would find them funny, too. Of course A&F didn't purposely put out the shirts to offend Asians - duh! How were they to know our yellow-skinned brothers lacked a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at themselves? A&F did nothing wrong - and these t-shirts were sure as hell NOT discrimination. Though that is what was cried and that is why the shirts were yanked. A loaded word that - discrimination. Apparently now stretched to cover any idiot with a wounded pride or the inability to understand a joke. Fuck all this politically correct bullshit. I'm so sick of it. Comedians have made a living for years making fun of themselves and others - including other races, sexes, sexual preferences, and religions. When did that all of a sudden become discrimination? It's a joke - jokes are supposed to poke fun at others. I get Boudreaux and Thibodeaux jokes all the time - everyone around here does. They portray Cajuns as dim-witted hicks. You don't see any irrate Cajuns screaming "discrimination!" No, they laugh. We can laugh at ourselves - and the rest of the world used to be able to, also. Maybe if the idiots of the world learned to laugh at themselves again this would be a much nicer place to live. If you don't like what someone says, delete it, don't read it or write your own commentary on it! Utilize your freedom of speech. Don't bitch and whine about discrimination and try to sue someone. That's fucking pathetic. Learn to laugh at yourself - life will be more pleasurable in the long run.

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 6:45 AM # | | F.U.

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

It is true, Wicked, that in this barren, cold, hard little heart I do have a great deal of empathy, also. But it is usually buried under the piles and piles of crap and pieces of shit I must deal with on a daily basis. You can't be around humanity for a long time and not hate them. Ask anyone in customer service, who has to deal with complaints, or who has to fix things - I bet they all share a healthy dose of disgust for their fellow man. Sometimes I'd like to just tell them all to vaya al infierno (that's 'go to hell' for all you non-speaking-Spanish readers; myself included). I bet people who have to work with Nature and animals don't hate who and what they're around all day. Think about that. I have decided I want to buy an island. While most of my friends are scrimping and saving to put a down payment on their first house or condo, I will be saving my cash to buy my own, personal island. I will name it Gethfu Aw Frome (which is a word I created from the statement "Get the Fuck Away From Me"). It will be a small island - and one that, every now and again, people will have to stop by on to get to somewhere else. That way I will not be doomed to be alone forever - but will have occasional visits from various and sundry, hopefully interesting, people. Knocking my interactions down to almost nil with others is probably the best way to enjoy them. I will appreciate human companionship all the more if it isn't rammed up my ass 24/7. I shall be able to entertain all of my hermit fantasies - without having to give up the occasional pleasure of entertaining. Doesn't it sound great?

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 10:22 AM # | | F.U.

Monday, August 04, 2003

It's hard not to hate people. I don't mean certain, specific people in your life - but just the seething mass of our collective population as a whole. It seems the vast majority of people are really fucking stupid or really fucking mean. Have you noticed that? One of the good things that came out of the whole 9-11 fiasco was seeing so many people going out of their way to help others. Getting to see most of the whole world join together to mourn and assist, people putting their lives in danger at the moment of the terror to help and save others - it gave me fresh, new hope for humanity. Of course that only lasted for awhile - until a bunch of the greedy surviving family members started griping that all the free money that was given to them and raised by caring people "wasn't enough". Not "thank you", but "I want more". Which just goes to show no matter how generous and kind and benevolent mankind may seem in times of crisis - when it comes down to real life they'll always be backstabbing, greedy, cruel and selfish. And stupid. Like today at work, for example. A fellow employee is telling me his views on things (like I care). He starts on about the Bush/gay marriage thing. "If it were up to me," he says, lowering his voice, "I'd ship them all off to an island somewhere. Marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman - just like Bush says. I say, get rid of all of them." Yes, because that's such a better solution. Just ship them off to an island somewhere. Whilst blown away by his brilliant political views, I realized he was basing his viewpoints on personal beliefs - just like our govmt' officials were doing. Not one to get into an argument with an idiot, I never voice my opposing viewpoints in these situations. Instead I just told him, "Well you should run for the presidency, then." He liked the idea - never catching on to my sarcasm. From the idiots I have to deal with in the cars around me driving to and fro work, to the ignorant asshats who want to simply "get rid" of everything that doesn't sit well with their perfect, "normal" little ideal of life...I just hate people.

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 10:31 AM # | | F.U.

Sunday, August 03, 2003

Jesus fucking christ, you are a freak! Don't ever change... Yeah, I dreamt once that I was the mother to a litter of kittens - though, thankfully, in my dream I got to skip the "mating" part. -shudder- You really should start writing these dreams down. They might actually mean something - I've no earthly idea what - but you should stilll jot 'em in a journal.

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 6:52 AM # | | F.U.

Saturday, August 02, 2003

I know it's hella early, but I just woke up from this great dream and had to share - you're gonna love this one, Wicked. For some reason, we had to go to church. My entire family and a whole slew of my friends, including Wicked & Worm. We're sitting in the pew, not paying any attention to the service (why would we be?). We're giggling and cutting up - not enough to disrupt anything. Suddenly, Wicked says, "I'm about to go beat that little bitch's ass." We look around to see what in the hell she is talking about. She points out a girl a few pews back on the other side of the church who is giving us the evil eye. "She's over there with her friends, rolling her eyes and mouthing 'If you don't like it, leave'," Wicked told us, getting angrier by the moment. Wicked is gone in the next second, my Mom asks what is going on, I tell her and my Dad says to "make her stop" (yeah, right). Next thing I know, I look over and see Wicked running towards the girl - she jumps over a pew and piledrives her! Wicked, the girl and the pew hit the floor and Wicked starts kicking her ass. I cannot believe Wicked is doing this in the middle of a church service! But actually, it's kind of funny. Naturally, they kick us out, but it was well worth it.

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 4:47 AM # | | F.U.