I haven't seen Meet the Parents yet but saw that particular part on the previews - looks pretty funny. Yes, Worm, pink is cool and, yes, you are high (perpetually). As for Pat Robertson, Wicked, I think you're going a little to0 easy on him. There has to be some form of torture fitting for such a slimeball. But remember, no matter what you do to fucktard-Robertson, there has to be an even more diabolical torment for Falwell. No one that stupid deserves to live. And you know you have to worry when the country is being run by yet another Christian moron - who is also an illiterate hick: "I am mindful that we're all sinners, and I caution those who may try to take the speck out of the neighbor's eye when they got a log in their own," the president said... Yeehaw, Monkey-Boy.

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 5:58 AM # | | F.U.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

What, are you on glue or something? Yes, pink is cool. What I find particularly amusing right now: Meet The Parents. The part where they're at the dinner table...discussing the milking of cats.

spewed forth from Wicked at 8:13 PM # | | F.U.

Is pink cool? I'm not sure. Am I high? Damn...

spewed forth from Worm at 8:10 PM # | | F.U.

What do you feel about Pat Robertson? I'd like a bit of variety in opinion. I feel that he's a massive pig cock bastard and should be assraped with a fistful of razor blades. It is people, and I use that term rather generously, like him who make this world morally defunct. If I had a genie in a bottle and had three wishes, they would be: (1) for 150 million dollars, (2) to know if god exists, and not just in the heads of YOU CHRISTIAN FREAKS, and (3) for Pat Robertson to catch HIV from a blood transfusion after he is assraped with the aforementioned fistful of razor blades.

spewed forth from Wicked at 8:03 PM # | | F.U.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

With all this talk about "finding Saddam" - who is only running from the people that kicked him out of the dictatorship and killed his sons - is anyone still looking for Osama bin Laden??? Unless no one remembers, he is the one behind the 9-11 attacks. Not Saddam Hussein. I don't care where Saddam is, find Osama!

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 9:33 AM # | | F.U.

Monday, July 28, 2003

From the article Vatican Seeks to Stop OKs for Gay Unions: "Legal acceptance is growing, however. Over the past two years, the Netherlands and Belgium extended marriages rights to all couples, no matter the partners' gender. Two Canadian provinces - Ontario and British Columbia - have legalized marriages for homosexuals under recent court rulings, a move that has attracted gays from across the border in the United States. The Massachusetts supreme court is weighing whether to legalize same-sex unions. In reaction, some Republican lawmakers in Washington are calling for a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriages nationwide. Vermont and some European nations, such as Germany, France, Sweden and Denmark, have "civil union" laws giving same-sex couples the rights and responsibilities of traditional marriages. " Do whatever you like....it's coming. Attempts at rejection are futile. Acceptance is coming... If you agree - help out.

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 7:13 PM # | | F.U.

In reference to the "Oh God" post made by my Funky counterpart... Personally, in my lair of sin, I call out the name of the Christian God because it feels blasphemous. When being fucked, porn-style, I get a warm, tingly feeling while taking the lord's name in vain. That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

spewed forth from Wicked at 5:01 PM # | | F.U.

Geez! You two need to just relax...take a pill. Me? I'm just chillin like a villain on the south side. Fa real, g. Peace, I'm out. (please note: This an alternate personality and I am not actually a "wigger". Thank you)

spewed forth from Worm at 1:02 PM # | | F.U.

The Worm and I were discussing sex and the phrases most often uttered during the act of coitus. "Why," queried The Worm, "does everyone always scream 'oh god'?" I told him it wasn't just an American thing, as I'd seen a French porn where the woman was moaning "Mon Dieu, mon dieu". It's international - it's world-wide. I pondered on this for a moment and came up with this: The-thing-some-of-us-call-god has to have one helluva sense of humor. I mean he/she created the sense of humor ("made in the image" and all that jazz). I thought back to a scene from one of my favorite movies, Mallrats, wherein after being thanked for his help, Jay tells some guy to get his girl to scream his name next time they're having sex. At the time I just thought it funny - but, in hindsight, that's also really fucking cool. Even if you're not getting any, it'd still be cool as hell to think of some bitch screaming your name as she cums (especially if she's fuckin' someone else). So my answer to this secular query is that god did that shit on purpose. Is it some coincidence that people all over the world, regardless of race, gender, or nationality, are screaming one person's name every time they're in the throes of ecstasy?! I think not. How's that for those that think sex isn't sacred! Two points for god/dess on that one. "What's my name, bitch?" "God?"

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 12:39 PM # | | F.U.

I fucking hate today. I hate Mondays - I hate my job - I hate people - I hate 1:45 - I hate my cube - I hate my office - I hate today - I hate my fucked up leg - I hate everything. Fuck off.

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 11:50 AM # | | F.U.

Saturday, July 26, 2003

How I feel about camel jockeys... It isn't good. Number one, who the fuck wears that hot, uncomfortable, ugly turban or bath towel on their head? Ohhhh, it's for RELIGIOUS purposes. Sweet ass. When you're dead and lying on the ground after having suffered a god damned heat stroke, I'LL PRAISE THE LORD FOR YOU. And their language...the language sounds like a colony of animals trying to communicate. Clicks and throat clearings are about fitting of these beasts. I have only one thing left to say. For all you rag heads - here in the U.S. and otherwise - your god wants you allll to strap on a belt-o-bombs and commit mass suicide. Right now. Today. He told me so.

spewed forth from Wicked at 10:56 AM # | | F.U.

Jeez *slaps self on forehead* When I created our URL it was supposed to be stpdfrsh.blogspot.com, but I accidentally left out the "r" (because I'm a crackhead-speed-typist) which made it stpdfsh.blogspot.com We're Stupid Fish rather than Stupid Fresh...lol Actually, that's kinda fitting, too

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 10:06 AM # | | F.U.

I just realized something... Add the "N" for Neurotic to Shanna, and you get Shannan That explains everything

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 7:31 AM # | | F.U.

Friday, July 25, 2003

Wicked & Funk's latest IM ho' down.... (at least...the interesting parts) Wicked: my head is throbbing. and vlad just sits here...letting me suffer. Wicked: what the hell kind of shit is this? Funk: I want us to get t-shirts that read (i'm going to hell for this): Funk: I FUCKED JESUS - AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID T-SHIRT Funk: Doesn't he know sex and orgasm is the only thing that cures a headache? Wicked: blah. Wicked: lmmfao that shirt idea rocks. Wicked: i fucked jesus, and all i got was this lousy bastard child. Funk: lmmfao

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 8:05 PM # | | F.U.

Merry meet mindless minions... What? Not mindless - not our minion? Just wait. This is FunkyFreshShanna - that's 'Funk' to you, ok? You can call me Shanna only if you pronounce it correctly; one strike and you're out. Welcome to our little slice of hell on the 'net. You've already met my freak-in-crime, Ms. Wicked herself. Let me bore you a bit longer with some more useless info...this time about yours truly. I'm 25 (Wicked, you're so old), and have no bright and brilliant offspring to brag on, so I'll have to borrow KickAssGrrrl from Wicked for just a second - she's one of the coolest, little chica's you'll ever meet (even if she does listen to The Dixie Chicks). I'm also a fairy godmother (a Pagan-Buddhist cannot be a 'godmother') to two of the cutest kids in the world (no, really) - the Little Fish and the Little Lion. Everyone else's kids are cool enough; I've no need for my own, you see. I'm not in college but I work my ass for the state as an I.T. Tech. You'd be surprised how many people ask me what that is. If you don't know you shouldn't be in front of a computer. I'm an opionated little bitch who also does web design on the side. I have many kickass sites that I'll be shamelessly plugging from here every chance I get. I'll spare you for now, but just wait. Wicked and I are the best of pals who agree that the world sucks, people are stupid and pushy Christians should be eviscerated...among other things. Someday we'll introduce you to our little pal, The Worm, when we're done fermenting him in a bottle of fine Tequila. I'm not as tattooed and pierced as my wicked counterpart, but I've got enough battle scars and ink to keep her from shunning me completely. I'm a frequent smoker, more frequent drinker and I, too, am unable to afford luxury drugs. I don't have a headache, but I'm going to go just the same...because I have nothing else to say. 'Til then... 'da funk

spewed forth from Shanna Riley at 5:38 PM # | | F.U.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Shannan. While...bloggering, I'll be known as WickedFreshShannan. Call me Wicked. Or Shannan. Just never Fresh. Consider this area a fount of knowledge. When you're feeling like a mental midget, wander this way...as aimlessly as I know you will be...and take a gander (no, we're not offering male geese here). Once reading our factual, well-informed, scientific, ALWAYS RIGHT, NEVER WRONG rantings and ravings we've so generously posted here for your scholastic pleasure, you will feel like you've just graduated, with honors, from MIT. It's true. And onto more about me... I'm 26. Currently enrolled in college, majoring in Funeral Services Education. Yes, that's right - I will be a mortician. I eagerly anticipate the day when I am surrounded by the silence of rigor mortis. I have a child. She is beautiful and brilliant. I am trying to mold her into an outstanding, contributive member of our morally-deficient, intellectually-challenged, personality-inhibited society. I'm not sure it's working. She wants to be a cheerleader and she likes the Dixie Chicks. Where did I go wrong? Shouldn't she be drinking beer and making out with girls by now? I am very much against Christianity, so let's get this over with: Yes, I've already been advised of my hellish final destination. Yes, I am a heathen. Yes, I am wicked and I know I should be fearful for what is to come in my afterlife. Yes, I've heard that there is PROFOUND evidence of a god and the many wonderous things he/she/it has given to us. The list goes on. I've been preached to too many times to count. So give it a rest, you bunch of rabid fucking christ freaks. I have tattoos. Many. I love them. I love most forms of body modification. I am a bod-mod enthusiast. If you lack any form of body modification, you suck. And don't argue...because you will be wrong, no matter what. I live in Louisiana, and I love it here. No, I'm not white trash. No, I'm not inbred. And I don't "wrassle gators" or bathe in swamps, you ill-informed, lack-wit ignorami. I am almost a non-smoker. I smoke occasionally. I drink occasionally. I don't do drugs. They're very expensive. My super-flyest friend is Shanna. She's short and very sassy. (Shorter than sassier, I'm afraid.) Her personality is damn near one of the best I've had the fortune of encountering, so respect my biatch. Otherwise she'll break out the cane and whip you with it. My boyfriend is Vlad. He's handsome and smart. Quite the cunning linguist. No, I did not just say cunnilingus. Get your mind OUT OF MY GUTTER. I guess that about wraps it up for me right now. No, that's not ALL there is to me and my life. I've got a killer headache and I need to clean up.

spewed forth from Wicked at 3:06 PM # | | F.U.